There I was, plodding through the concrete jungle with a special guest to find a KOSHER VEGETARIAN CHINESE Restaurant. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. My previous posts on here had me eating smoked chicken wings, BBQ pork, cheeseburgers, and tender Jamaican pork, among other fine things that are not Kosher, vegetarian, or as seemingly boring as Chinese food is in comparison. You may also be thinking that it sounds like I might be in Chinatown, which is not in NJ. As always, you're correct on both counts. But we're both from NJ, and plenty of NJ people go to NYC often enough, and....well.....it's my blog and I make the rules!
We reached our destination, Buddha Bodai on Mott St., more or less next to my favorite non-Kosher restaurant in Chinatown, Wo Hop. We sat down, and my guest informed me that she'd never eaten in Chinatown before. The menu was reasonably priced, extensive (almost overwhelming), and packed entirely with meatless items. Lots of fake meat, lots of veggies, no actual meat. A lesser man than myself might've panicked and walked out in frustration and gone to Wo Hop or any other familiar place in Chinatown. I like meat a lot, and I can't recall ever eating at a legitimate certified Kosher restaurant. This was some unfamiliar territory.
I stood firm and quickly and boldly picked a dish of fake rib meat with peppers in a blackbean sauce over wide noodles. I could see consternation building in my guest's face. She wasn't that hungry, didn't know what to try, the menu was enormous.....what should she do?!?! I suggested the only fake chicken I'd ever eaten that I actually liked: General Tso's fake chicken. Simple, familiar, and relatively hard to screw up. She was pleased. Neither of us are allergic to wheat gluten. Game on.
My noodles came out first. It was a heaping pile of soft, broad chow fun noodles with a thick blackbean sauce that looked almost like light beef gravy. Fresh green bell peppers, fake rib meat, and beansprouts rounded it out. Then her plate of golden fried fake chicken pieces with a golden sweet/slightly spicy "General Tso" sauce followed, accompanied by fresh broccoli. She was promised by the jolly waiter that her dish would be spicy. WOMP WOMP, it wasn't so much. But damn, it was tasty. My noodles were also flavorful, hot, and very Kosher. The fake rib meat was pretty fantastic, and close in texture to the real thing. The chicken was of a similar caliber. It was about as good as any regular Chinatown restaurant, in terms of food, all around. The free hot tea was GREAT...looseleaf black tea with a mellow aroma and flavor. The meal was a success all around.
So, the kosher food didn't make me feel like putting on a yarmulka and singing Hava Nagila. It didn't taste like pastrami, a bagel, a knish, or any other stereotypical "kosher style" food. It tasted like......good Chinese food. The fake meat tasted pretty darn close to real meat. The company was great. The waiter was even jolly, and made the food seem...jolly. Everyone in the place was in good spirits, without the usual yelling and intensity of small Chinatown spots. It was a jolly good dining experience, and I'd repeat it without hesitation. The menu is big enough that it would take a few years of eating there multiple times a week for a person to try everything. On my budget and schedule, it'd take a lot longer!
